


Ultimate Cost

by Ky10R3n



Category: SWRP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:57:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ky10R3n/pseuds/Ky10R3n





	Ultimate Cost

Snoke had summoned him. He knew it was to complete his training - he was not at liberty to ignore the call. He stood, waiting for Snoke to appear by hologram. His stomach turned. He knew what was to come, and that it would make him stronger in the end, but he dreaded it nonetheless. This phase of his "training" was essentially a Herculean ordeal to be endured. 

Snoke had left no doubt as to the extent of his disappointment in Kylo. He had miscalculated his opponents abilities, /Rey's abilities/, and had succumbed to his own hubris. His injuries were healed, but they had delayed the timeline. Snoke finally appeared; at least the waiting was over. He spoke, "Kylo Ren. Your time has come. Your trial awaits. Go to Malachor V and wait for me there.” 

The words startled him; he hoped Snoke hadn't noticed. The ancient Sith base? He thought that was just a legend. The planet's infamy had led to its name becoming synonymous with "Hell". It was all he could do to maintain his composure. “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke paused for what seemed like an eternity before adding* "What of Rey Ren?" *Kylo knew that question was coming, and was fairly certain Snoke already knew the answer. He just wanted to torment Kylo by making him say it. He tried to calm himself and hide his growing anger.* It is done. It has been confirmed that she is with child. 

It sickened him to be so matter of fact about it, but he needed to stick to the plan and make it appear as if it was against Reys will. Snoke had foreseen that the child would be more powerful than all of them, and delighted in the possibilities of controlling such an entity. He could feel Snoke probing his mind, searching for answers. He had practiced clearing his thoughts and hoped he was successful at it now. Snoke held all the cards, as usual. Either he would complete the trial and become what Snoke desired, or Snoke would destroy him and take his child in his place. The later was not an option. It was an entirely impossible situation.

Snoke spoke one last time before dismissing him. "Now we shall see if you can overcome the weight of Malachor, and silence the echoes that beat from its heart." He bowed his head in deference, and stood there for a moment even after the transmission ended.* He didn't return to his quarters - he didn't need pack. He knew he wouldn't need /or be allowed/ much. He made his way to his shuttle. 

Even with the superior technology of the First Order, the journey to the outer rim planet in the Malachor system was a long one. He used the three day journey to train, meditate and summon the strength he needed for what lay ahead. Unfortunately, the journey also left Kylo plenty of time to consider /all/ of the possible outcomes. He was restless and anxious. The bacta tank in the cargo hold didn't help to ease his mind. Although he did take some comfort in knowing that Snoke didn't want him dead, at least not yet. He used his mind to reach out to Rey. ~Can you hear me?~

Malachor: There is a place in the galaxy where the dark side of the Force runs strong. It is something of the Sith, but it was fueled by war. It corrupts all that walks on its surface—drowns them in the power of the dark side. It corrupts all life, and it feeds on death. - Kreia

When they finally entered orbit, the unstable gravity and ever present lightning made their descent to the surface a difficult one. Through the lightning flashes he caught a glimpse of a desolate landscape, covered with jagged cliffs. Although some thought it destroyed long ago, pockets of biological life still remained in the ruins of the dark planet. What was left called out like a siren to those that sought to harness the power of the dark side. It's was here at the ruins of the Sith Emprie's Trayis Academy that Snoke hoped Kylo would find his ultimate strength. He quietly wondered if his grandfather had been here for any of his training. The possibility increased his resolve. The darkness of the place was palpable even from this altitude. The planet felt /alive./

As he descended to the surface of the planet he contemplated why Snoke had tolerated his relationship with Rey at all. She was a distraction, and she gave him purpose. Made him feel worthy. Provided him with focus and resolve. And made him vulnerable. Sensations that did not in seem to be in concert with the constructs of those that followed the dark path. He considered the possibility that Snoke hoped to encourage his constant confusion between the light and dark. It made him unpredictable and that make him more /dangerous./ It also made him stronger. He realized that their child would cement that struggle forever. 

He finally arrived in the surface and descended from his shuttle without an escort. Troopers would not have provided any defense against what he faced here anyways. The real enemy was within him. Whoever said it was right: Malachor /was hell./ He could feet it already. It was also a desolate barren wasteland. Something in the air wouldn't let you focus; it kept you just outside of clarity of thought. The place hovered on the thin line between dreams and reality. 

It was one thing to embrace the darkness, but it was entirely another to have it embrace /you./ For this final part of his training Kylo had to surrender everything; his helmet, his cloak and his light saber. He was essentially forced to be vulnerable and alone in this harsh environment. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, steeling himself for whatever was to come. He opened his mind, welcoming the dark elixir into his being. He felt a heightened sense of awareness, like the distant but oncoming drumbeat of pleasure felt in the throes of passion. 

As he had been instructed, he made his way on foot towards the ruins of the ancient Sith temple – they were just barely visible on the horizon. A chill filled the air, and crossed his arms as he walked. After about an hour of walking he realized they appeared no closer. What type of deceit was this? He walked on. It was growing darker and he needed to find some shelter for the night. He looked off into the distance just in time to see the structure swirl into the atmosphere. Even this most basic of comforts was revealed to be nothing more than an illusion. He was forced to spend the night exposed on the planet's cold and unforgiving surface. He felt his resolve begin to weaken.

He set himself upon a jagged outcrop and surveyed the expansive and desolate terrain. His mind wandered. How did he get to this point? So many paths had been laid out before him, he wasn't always sure he made the right choice, but there was no turning back now. He found it increasingly hard to focus his thoughts, and rubbed his eyes with his palms to focus them. He felt an energy wash over him like a powerful wind that heralds in an oncoming storm. It was then that the hallucinations began.

New blood joins this earth, And quickly he's subdued  
Through constant pained disgrace, The young boy learns their rules  
-Metallica, The Unforgiven

The visions came and went. People he knew - his mother. His father. Rey. Places he had been - in his mother’s embrace as a child, with his father on the bridge that fateful day, making love to Rey. The visions haunted him in different ways. Each made him feel vulnerable and tormented uniquely. 

More visions came and went. Sometimes, cruelly enough, they weren't visions at all. They were physical attacks. It was often impossible to discern which experience was which at first. In his dazed consciousness he could barely tell the difference in time to provide any defense for himself. The only real difference was that the mental torment didn't scar him physically. He had no weapon, no cloak for protection. He had only his physical form, which was no match for his attackers in his unfocused state. 

He suffered through these relentless visions for days, or was it a week? Reality was a distant and foreign concept. Time lost meaning. Some days mercenaries had been hired, other days Snoke destroyed Kylo’s will all by himself. Kylo knew those days were his most likely chance to uncover any weakness Snoke may have in his abilities. Even if they were the most harrowing and the most difficult to endure. 

The aggressors lashed out at him, inflicting torturous and unimaginable pain. Broken bones. Cavernous lacerations. Massive bruising. He needed to cultivate the resolve required to endure and /survive./ In addition to the physical torment, the disappointment he sensed in his master stung him mentally. Snoke had never been one to offer praise, but this was worse. Had to survive to protect Rey. He embraced the pain, either way it would make him strong.

Sleep only came in fits and spurts, and was not something Kylo encouraged, even if he desperately needed it. He could not afford to be any more vulnerable. He was a broken and exhausted man. When it appeared he would succumb to his injuries, Snoke would summon the medical droid. It retrieved him, brought him to the ship and repaired his physical form in the bacta tank. His mental state was a different matter altogether. He could feel it; there was no denying the fact that he was /changing/. 

In the direst of moments, in the rare instances where he was able to clear his mind and disassociate himself from his physical form, he felt an energy resonate through him. It called to him, beckoned him to welcome it in. It was like the relief of a cool breeze on a hot day. It was faint, but if you focused on it, it provided momentary relief. He gave in; he was unable to do much else. 

It was in these moments that he began to understand; he was now fully allowing himself to channel his dark powers. The sheer necessity to defend himself from the attacks provided him with the impetus to succumb to its call. He realized now that in the past he had demanded the darkness, but that was not how it worked. It summoned you. And you had to be listening to hear its call. Then and only then could you encourage it to do your bidding. It was like a spark that could be encouraged into a flame, but was easily extinguished. It required one to have self-control to fully harness it.

The trials were repeated again and again. He stopped thinking, instead relying on pure reflex alone. His mind channeled the force and developed powers he had only heard of in legends. Powers he developed and grew out of sheer necessity. Lightening. Levitation. Mind manipulation. Telekinesis. A few others began rising to the surface... Regeneration? Power negation? They were faint, but he felt their elusive call. He hoped to be able to develop them further at some point, but he was not sure that would be possible.

After what seemed like an endless amount of time, he was able to overcome the cloudiness of the atmosphere, and focus his mind on what needed to be done. He was perpetually on the edge of full rage, as if his raw nerves were exposed and constantly being exploited. Reflexively, he lashed out at every vision that came; real or not. He would not make the mistake of hesitating or underestimating them again. He began effortlessly dispatching each aggressor as soon as the vision appeared, even before the attack began. He noted that Snoke had ceased participating in the attacks. He would watched from a distance.

The lesson was painfully clear: trust nothing but the darkness. You must succumb to it, and then have the conviction to believe it would do your bidding. If you  
hesitated for a moment it would abandon you, leaving you helpless. Be ready to react at all times. It had to be automatic, reflexive. The darkness would control you. 

A month later, he had survived the ordeal. The ultimate cost was still unclear, however.


End file.
